After the Gun
by tvfreak13
Summary: Takes place after 4x06 Under the Gun. Hanna needs her Caleb with everything going on with her mom.


**Just a little oneshot written for Meghan. I hope it lives up to your expectations, darling. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own PLL. Also, there are spoilers for 4x06 Under the Gun as this takes place directly after last week's episode.**

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Her hands were shaking as she tried to unlock the door with the spare key he'd given her to his apartment. After her mom was handcuffed and dragged off to the squad car, she had to get out of her house. She couldn't stand to be there with her father. So she quickly grabbed her keys and left, telling Tom that she was staying with Caleb and would be back in the morning. Tom saw the anger, determination, and overall dejection etched into her face and her voice so he didn't try to stop her. He wasn't going to fight her on this one as he'd come to learn to pick and choose his battles with his daughter. She clearly needed comfort and as devastating as it was, he knew he couldn't and wouldn't be the one to give it to her.

Caleb, busy typing an essay on his laptop at his small kitchen table, jumped at the sound of Hanna unlocking the door and barging into his apartment unannounced. She slammed the door behind her and just stood there. With silent tears streaming down her cheeks she stood in his doorway, taking in a shaky breath as he took in the sight of the mess she was.

His brow immediately furrowed and he frowned when he saw her, worrying clouding his deep brown eyes. He stood up to move towards her. "Hanna, baby what's wrong?" he said as gently as his voice would let him. Just by the look of her and, the fact that she had somehow managed to escape from her house under Tom's guard, he knew something was seriously wrong. Emily had filled him in on the whole gun incident and Hanna's arrest at school since he wasn't able to reach her, but he knew there was something more to it than that.

"Wh-Why weren't you here for me… t-this weekend?" her voice was shaky as sobs began to take over her voice, but she was shouting at him all the while. "Y-you're the one who's… who's supposed to keep me from d-doing stupid things! Talk me down. T-that's your job and you weren't… yo-you weren't here! A-And I couldn't call you… I tried to call you Caleb…" Her words were a mixture of crying and screaming.

He froze in his tracks when he heard the anger in her voice that seemed to be directed towards him and how upset she was and sounded. He had felt guilty about leaving her that weekend to go camping with his dad, but Hanna had insisted that he go. And when he came back and heard about what happened, he felt even guiltier. He knew that she was upset about something bigger than this and that she was taking her anger out on him as a defense mechanism to the whole situation so he tried to be as comforting and sympathetic as he could.

"I know. I'm so sorry," he whispered moving towards her again. He wrapped his arms around her back, pulling her into a hug, but her body didn't respond back. Her arms crossed over her chest, she uncrossed them and pushed on his chest.

"Don't touch me," she said through her burning sobs, pushing him away as hard as she could with all the built up anger she had inside her. He stumbled back a step at her force.

His heart was breaking for her just at the sight of her. Her eyes were bloodshot and swollen and pieces of her hair were sticking to the stream of tears covering her face. He desperately wanted to comfort her.

"Hey…" he began cautiously, reaching for one of her hands. She pulled it away immediately.

Usually she ran straight into his arms whenever she was upset and the fact that she was acting so guarded had him more concerned than ever. "I'm so sorry. You're right. I shouldn't have left," he whispered. And now a single tear ran down his cheek as he stared into her glistening tear-stained eyes, just two feet away from him, her body trembling from her sobs.

He knew that she needed to be held. She knew it too. That's why she came to his apartment in the first place. But when she got there she was just overcome with emotion. She didn't even know why she was pushing him away. She just was. She felt out of control with anger and grief. She couldn't control her actions or her emotions.

He pulled her into his chest again and she tried to push him away again, sobbing, "I said d-don't… t-touch me." Her body was shaking to match the way her voice was. He didn't listen though and held her to him, refusing to let her push him way. She struggled against him, but finally gave up her fight when she realized he wasn't going to let her go. She buried her face into his neck, and just cried.

Her hot tears wet on his skin, he rubbed her back in long, careful circles and swayed them back and forth slowly, one of his hands holding her head securely in the crook of his neck. She wouldn't stop crying and trembling against him no matter how tight he held her. She was breaking down as she could barely breathe through her sobs, her breaths coming out in gasps that sounded like hiccups.

Caleb felt sick to his stomach as he held her and was forced to listen to her cries. He knew that this was bigger than Hanna being arrested, but didn't know how big. He didn't ask though, not yet. He knew she wouldn't be ready to tell him and he could wait.

"My mom… she…. was…. arrested tonight," she breathed out in his ear as an explanation after he held her for about ten minutes or so. She was starting to calm down just a little. She was still crying, but she was no longer sobbing. "They… they just barged into my house and arrested her. I know she didn't do it Caleb. My mom's not perfect, but she wouldn't kill anyone, Caleb. – A set her up." Her voice was so hoarse from crying, she didn't even recognize the sound of it. "Sh-she's going to go to jail. And there's nothing I can do. And this is all my fault. God, why am I so stupid?" she moaned.

He held her tighter against him, his lips right on her ear as he whispered, "You're not, Hanna. You're not stupid. You thought you were doing the right thing."

"Everything I try to do to help backfires. I ca-can't do anything right anymore." Now she was sobbing again.

"Shh… shh… Everything's going to be okay, I promise." It was the only thing that Caleb could think to say even if he wasn't so sure of it himself.

"No it's not! How can you even say that Caleb? My mom's going to spend the rest of her life in a prison cell because of me…" she cried out through her sobs, her words making her sound like she was choking again as she said them. His promise of everything going to be okay made her more upset as she didn't see how everything could be.

"We'll figure out a way to fix it. I swear to God we will, Hanna. I won't let that happen," he whispered with conviction as he continued to rub her back. He had to find a way to calm her down. He was scared for her and she wouldn't stop crying and shaking.

After he realized that they'd been standing in the doorway for about fifteen minutes, he pulled away slightly saying "C'mere" as he grabbed both of her hands and led her to the couch in his living room. He sat down and pulled her with him, so she was sitting in his lap, his arms encircling her. She wrapped her arms around his neck again, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Can I stay with you tonight?" she asked with pleading eyes, looking up at him through her wet lashes. She needed him to hold her all night. It was the only thing making her feel just the slightest bit better in spite of everything. She felt so out of control and was afraid to be alone. She needed to be with someone who she trusted to take of her.

"Of course, Han. You know you never have to ask," he said kissing her forehead, his lips lingering there as she closed her eyes at the contact.

She wasn't crying anymore, but she was still trembling while Caleb held her. She was exhausted and couldn't find the energy to cry anymore after succumbing to the sobs that overtook her body minutes before. "I can't go back home. Not while my dad's there. He actually believes she killed him. I know it looks bad. Her fingerprints are on the bullets – that's… that's why they arrested her. But she didn't do it Caleb." Her eyes were pleading, begging him to tell her that he didn't think her mom was a killer.

"I know she didn't," he said truly meaning it. He knew Ashley almost as well as he knew Hanna.

"She's going to jail because of me," she whispered again, looking down as silent tears still poured out of her blue eyes.

"Hanna this isn't your fault –" he began to protest before he was interrupted.

"Yes it is and _please_ don't even try to convince me otherwise. I seriously don't want to hear it," she interrupted, her voice as weak as she felt.

He did what she asked and didn't try to convince her. Instead, he held her face in one of his hands, while he wiped away some of her tears with the other. Hanna almost started to cry again at the tenderness of his touch and the look of deep concern and love in his eyes.

"I need my mom," she whispered and he nodded, silently agreeing with her. He knew that she did. "There's no way I can just go live with my dad. And Isabel and Kate. After everything he's done. And the fact that he really believes my mom's guilty. I can't Caleb. I just can't," she said, her voice shaky again.

"Hey…" he tilted her head back up with his fingers when she looked away from him again. "You don't have to live with your dad if you don't want to."

"Yes I do," she moaned. "He's probably going to have full time custody or whatever if my mom's in jail."

"You're eighteen, Hanna. He legally can't make you live with him."

"But where am I going to live Caleb?"

"You can _always_ stay with me," he promised, a hint of a smile forming on his lips at the thought of Hanna living with him.

The idea was comforting to Hanna as well, but she really didn't want to live anywhere without her mom. "Don't say that unless you mean it."

"I mean it," he replied sincerely.

"Okay," she said shakily.

Caleb sensed her uneasiness and tried to reassure her. "But you're not going to need to because you're mom's coming home, Hanna. She's innocent."

She nodded and laid her head against his chest now. Although she was quiet, Caleb could feel his t-shirt becoming wetter and wetter from her tears so he knew she was still crying.

He rubbed her back over and over again not knowing what to do. His heart was literally breaking for her. He'd never seen her this upset before. This was even worse than when she found out that Mona was –A. He felt helpless holding her. "What can I do baby?" he whispered ever so quietly.

She didn't answer, just continued to cry soundlessly. She couldn't stop the tears from flowing and her eyes were burning from it all.

"When was the last time you ate something?" he asked, trying to think of something – anything – that he could do for her.

"Caleb don't. I can't eat right now." She felt queasy and the thought of food was nauseating. She didn't want a lecture from him about eating either. She hadn't eaten anything all day except for a banana for breakfast, but she felt like she physically couldn't even if her body needed food.

"Tell me what you need," his voice the one pleading now, begging her to tell him a way to help her.

"I need my mom," she whimpered into his chest.

"Shh… shh… I know, Hanna. I know."

His voice was so soft and she knew she only needed one thing from him. His presence alone was comforting enough. "I just need you to hold me all night. And to never let me go, okay?"

"I can do that," he promised.

"I'm afraid to be alone right now," she admitted, looking into his eyes. She looked so incredibly young and vulnerable to him in that moment.

"You're not alone, Han," he said pulling her closer to him, holding her tighter.

He continued to hold her. It was getting late and he knew her emotions had physically exhausted her.

"Do you wanna get ready for bed?" he asked her.

She nodded.

They both made their way to the bedroom in his apartment and Hanna found one of her favorite t-shits of his in his drawer. She changed in his bathroom, brushed her teeth with the toothbrush he left in there for her when she spent the night, and washed her face. She barely recognized the girl staring back at her in the mirror. She didn't look or feel like herself, her eyes all puffy and red, and worry etched into her dainty features. She felt as if she looked like someone sucked all the life out of her and she felt like that too.

She exited the bathroom when she was done, climbing into his bed and pulling up all the covers while Caleb now changed into some pajama pants and brushed his teeth in the bathroom.

He climbed into bed next to her, lifting up one of his arms so that she could snuggle against his chest. She threw an arm around him and nuzzled up against him so that she was as close to him as possible.

Hanna felt slightly calmer and more relaxed now in his warm, soft bed with Caleb holding her. "I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier. I just… I don't know why – "

He cut her off. "Shh… you don't have to explain anything to me. You're already forgiven."

She gave him a slight smile, the only thing she could muster giving the circumstances, yet Caleb was glad to see it.

"I love you," he said kissing her cheek. "Promise you'll wake me up if you need anything at all. Even if you just want to talk, wake me up, okay?"

"Okay," she agreed looking into his eyes.

He watched her and she watched him. Her eyes were tired and exhausted, stinging from all the crying. She needed to sleep, though Caleb was pretty sure she wouldn't want to. He hoped that sleep could numb her pain, at least just for a little while. "Close your eyes," he whispered ever so softly, but she didn't. "It's okay. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere," he promised her again, continuing to whisper comforting words into her ear as she finally gave into sleep.

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**Reviews are love! XOXO**


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